The award for the world’s worst farm wife goes to…this girl. I am NOT handling this year’s drought well AT ALL. And I’m blaming my bad attitude on my hormones which are currently spiraling out of control.
Up until recently, I’ve been pretty optimistic about our ridiculous drought conditions for the most part. For the sake of my dear husband, I’ve tried really hard to not freak out about our shriveling corn fields. I’ve stopped driving by them, because if I don’t see how bad they look, then it makes it less real, you know? Ignorance is bliss.
I know it’s hard on Jon, because he takes providing for his family very seriously. I don’t want him to feel like a failure, because nothing about this situation is his fault.
It just really sucks when rain skirts just to the north, or just to the south. Or when it’s heading straight for us according to the radar and fizzles out just before it arrives.
It’s seriously becoming a test of faith for me. I got REALLY crabby with God tonight as yet another rare rain decided to circle around our corn. I mean, really? I even yelled at Him. More than once. I’m getting a little cynical, which makes it hard to remain optimistic and trusting. Darn it.
So tonight I’m just feeling super frustrated. And overwhelmed. And questioning. Sigh. I hate feeling like this. I think I need to call it a night. Maybe tomorrow will be better.