Limping

My heart is limping this week.

I read that phrase on a blog yesterday…the writer wrote that her soul was limping.

Yes.

I know exactly how she feels when she says that.  I’m feeling like that right now.

My instinct when I feel this way is to hide under the covers and cry. Throw a little (or maybe even a big) pity party.  Wrestle with questions I’ll not likely ever know the answers to.  Eat lots and lots of comfort foods like chocolate cupcakes with thick, gooey peanut butter frosting and homemade bread with loads of butter.  Real butter, not Parkay.

But crying and hiding out and overeating only gets me so far.  Eventually I have to get out of bed and face the daylight.  That’s when the real soul-searching starts, and that’s when it gets hard.

Working through life is tough. And the circumstances I had to face recently are hard and ugly and have left me limping.  Feeling un-whole.  Not okay.  Wondering why and if and for how long.

But here’s what I think I am learning as I limp around this week.  What I am going through is terrible.  It hurts.  But it’s necessary because it’s making me ready.

Ready to love more.

Ready to help others.

Ready to look outside of myself.

Ready for things I can’t even imagine.

And while that realization doesn’t make my limp disappear, it gives my limp a purpose.  And a peace.  During weeks like this, knowing that I’m being made ready for what He has planned for me is what gets me through.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

when sorrows like sea billows roll;

whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Limping

  1. As my dog limps around the yard, I worry about her. Yet she runs a half a mile one way to where i am loading my truck out of the grain bin, just so she can be beside me. That’s real love, even tho she is hurting / limping, she will still find a way to get to where i am at, just to be with me.
    Your heart is limping, for that i am so sorry! My heart sends a hug to yours, my hands want to hold your heart and try to help you along your way. Amazing how some things spoken or written as in this case, happens to be taking place in my life too! Not just with my dog limping, but my heart has been limping lately too. It happens, It’s called life…the sun sets each night, and comes up again in the morning…even if we are not ready for that sun to come up again, it does. We deal with it, we have to. There is a purpose for us, a plan for our lives…He will show us all the way, Trust in Him. If it’s meant to be, it will happen, and that is how I roll!
    As much as your life has troubles, all lives have troubles, and I really try to remember that myself as I go through my own troubles. Not that it will help you with your pain, but usually a friend who listens to my problems will tell me – “you could have it worse” and most of the time it helps me to get through whatever it is i am trying to deal with at the moment. Maybe i can pass that on to you, as a friend and an aunt-in-law, i will say to you tonight,
    “things could be worse”
    so ~ chin up, as hard as it is to lift your head sometimes…and be grateful for your day, easier said than done, I know!
    I love YOU!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s